No, I didn’t go rock climbing recently, while almost 9 months pregnant.
No, what I wanted to write about was something that occurred to me while talking to my best buddy Dana. She said something like, it’s scary and you don’t know if you can do it but then you do.. (sorry if I’m misquoting you, but that’s basically what I took away :D)
Anyway, it made me think of how I went rock wall climbing last September. It was a three story tower out in a field with the fake rock nubbins up the side, and although you’re harnessed in, it’s still terrifying if you don’t do so well with heights.
I had to learn trust my body. I had to reach way up, further than I thought I could stretch, and grab ahold of the next rock, then cling for dear life, pant and not look down, then push with my legs as hard as I could so that I could reach the next stable point without slipping or losing balance and falling back down. And then I would cling for dear life, still panting, and wait until I had the courage to reach up for the next rock.
I was totally and completely sure I wasn’t going to be able to do it. There was no way that I was going to be able to reach that next rock, it was simply too far away. And once I had reached up and found my next handhold, there was simply no way my feet were going to be able to reach up far enough to find a foothold to push me up again. It was too hard and too scary.
And it took about an hour, I think, (or at least felt like it) but at some point I reached the edge of the top and reached up, dizzy from fright and fatigue, as the person at the top pulled me up.
I did it. I had climbed the tower. And then the best part was clipping onto the zip-line and zooming down.
I think that’s a pretty good analogy if I do say so myself. So I’ve changed my mental outlook – this is an adventure, not an ordeal. It’s going to be scary, but looking up at that super tall rock wall was scary but I knew I at least wanted to try. And once on it, I really didn’t want to fall or fail, so kept going even though I was completely terrified and my muscles were cramping up. And I was so proud of my body once it was over (even with the violent trembling) that it had done what it was supposed to do despite my brain screaming at it “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? TURN BACK!! TURN BACK!!”
So bring it! I’m ready! … kinda… 😉