Ha ha! A play on words!

But really, you hear it throughout all nine months, that the last one is the longest, and truly it is. Probably because there’s the buildup of anxiety over, “any day now!”, fueled by nervous co-workers who are beginning to make game plans of how to get you to the hospital (my boss asked for Eric’s phone number as a ‘just in case’… I should probably tell Eric that).

Not to mention the last month actually encompasses roughly six weeks as you could go past 40, so in reality it truly is the longest month. Although, someone reassured me that I will, in fact, have a baby this month. Sometime in July, a baby Z will be born.

I keep getting mixed feelings from healthcare providers. As mentioned in other posts, the due date was moved up early on, but since then the ultrasounds measure more along the lines of the original due date. But since they refuse to change it, the longest I can go would be 10 days after the 7/21 due date, which means the last day she could be born would be 7/31, guaranteeing a July baby. And then I get news that I’m measuring bigger than I should be, or that based on my swollenness that I don’t have much longer to go. So with all the mixed information I’m on edge that, soon! soon! and then, oh.. not for a while yet.

I think another factor hindering my patience is, much like before a wedding, your brain is preoccupied with last minute preparations, wishful ponderings of life to come, and the ever present looking-forward-to of not having to work for awhile. Oh work. How I’m so checked out. I keep praying that I’ll continue to be productive and responsible, but it truly is hard to look at an email or stack of papers and think, “I should work on this. This won’t take long at all. It’s a little challenging but will be a fun task to keep my mind busy so the day will pass faster.” Instead I find myself glaring at these things thinking, “how long can I put this off? If I wait too long, someone else will have to deal with it. Really I’m doing them a favor, because if I start this project then someone else will have to figure out what I’d done so far and it will be more work than if they started from scratch, so really it’s best if I daydream or read baby stuff instead.”

Of course that’s not the case. I’m a bit more sluggish in starting work, and my natural inclinations toward procrastination don’t much help, but I am in fact plodding slowly but deliberately along in an effort to retain my good status here and secure my position upon return.

I’m just so glad everyone is so forgiving. Truth be told, between coming in late from all the various doctors appointments, and leaving early from summer hours or other doctors appointments, I’m not really working a whole heck of a lot anyway. Certainly not 40 hours a week anymore, so I really have little to complain about.

And I also realize that it won’t really be a vacation once this does all go down.. but it will be a nice change in pace, a new beginning, something different and exciting, and a looong time away from work. I may feel differently after several nights in a row without sleep, but right now it all sounds kinda wonderful.