I’ve been struggling. First I was torn to go back to work and leave my little bundle behind. But my employer has let me work from home a couple days during the week each week. Then I was torn because it was a struggle to manage my time at home… if I was playing with the baby I felt guilt over not working while technically on the clock, but if I set the baby down to play and ignored her to work I felt like a terrible mother. Then I struggled with just getting my brain in the right place after so much time away – it felt like my brain was in first gear and wouldn’t shift.
With each of these I prayed for a lot of help, and asked my Bible study group to pray for me as well.
God took care of us. I keep learning that I don’t need to worry, that He’ll provide, whether that be money or time or whatever.
One day I was struggling with working at home and my boss called and asked for me to send over a presentation that I’d been working on for a week.. he said to just send him what I had. I had two slides with some pictures and no insightful information. I panicked. But then I prayed, “God, please put my brain in the right place, make me good at this kind of work again, and help me to finish this today.”
All of a sudden I thought, Oh, I should get this information which will prove this point. Oh and I already have this data which will support this statement and all I need is to quickly go find this one thing which will sum up this slide nicely.
And it all came together. A week’s worth of work all crammed into a couple hours in the afternoon and voila I looked productive at home (I was most afraid of losing my ability to work from home if they thought I couldn’t handle it).
So that’s how God helped me with the productivity aspect. And as for managing my time between the two, Aria now sleeps a good chunk in the middle of the day. I let her nurse and she’ll fall asleep in my arms and I just leave her laying across my arms as I work on my laptop in my lap, on a pillow. It works pretty well, because I’m right there if she stirs, but I can focus on work for a good portion of the day, and give her attention when she wakes up. See, He provides.
Oh, and the best part – I was scheduled to travel a LOT during these two months. Something like four different trips each four days long. Not only would this have been time away from my precious family, but I was worried I was going to lose my milk supply from too much stress and not enough opportunity to pump. But it was all cancelled!
It has all worked out so well. They will let me continue working from home for the rest of the year, Eric and Aria bonded and learned each other’s habits and schedules during my few days away, and God has helped me be able to be both productive and motherly while at home.
I’m so blessed.